August 21 2014

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EXCLUSIVE: Choupette Lagerfeld Tells All



As a beauty editor, investigative reporting is part of the job and I’ll go to great lengths to get a scoop—even if it means enduring intense heat (sauna), icy waters (plunge pool), or fog so thick you could slice it with a knife (steam room). Tracking a source down at the spa is no easy task, but if you want an exclusive with Choupette Lagerfeld, then you just have to suck it up and take a hot stone massage for the team. Here, how I penetrated the Kaiser’s high-security forces and managed to steal a few words with the fashion world’s most in-demand feline.

[Clad in a white, terrycloth robe, I slip past the bodyguards lulled to sleep by the spa music. In the middle of the dim treatment room I notice the fluffy fashion muse enjoying a thermal seaweed wrap—cucumbers delicately placed over her blue eyes.]

Choupette, is that you in there?

Excuse moi! Why must you interrupt my spa session?!

My apologies, your highness, but coordinating an interview with your people is next to impossible—even for

Why, hello there, dahhhling! Hopefully you take as good care of me as my maids.

I wouldn’t dream of anything less. Let’s talk about your claws—seems like everyone is sporting the pointed shape these days.

Long overdue for my PET-icure and manicure at @JINsoon salon. These talons must be at their peak performance for catfights!

The only catfights I’ve seen are at sample sales and I imagine Daddy Karl is vehemently against those, correct?

Every year I await the @diptyqueParis February sample sale. Not that I need anything to cover up my odeur de litterbox.

Shocking, but I do imagine you to be a Baies kind of girl. Since you mingle with the masses to do your candle shopping, do you stock up on your own Fancy Feast or leave that task to the help?

Can you picture me in a grocery store? Non!

I should have known—all those ladies in their loungewear, the majority not wearing pieces from your father’s supermarché-themed collection.

Grocery shopping is still no excuse to wear sweatpants!

You and our associate news editor Katharine K. Zarrella are on the same page. I think the two of you should meet. What type of company do you keep?

If your LinkedIn profile says Social Media Guru or Style Expert, we are not friends, professional acquaintances, nor have we worked together.

So who is a member of your inner circle, exactly? Aside from Cara Delevingne, of course.

I feel a bond with women who sit at the salon while sipping champs. Does that make me pretentious?

Not at all—I completely understand. Is there a beauty trend you absolutely despise?

There’s a reason felines hate water: the wet hair look is just NOT the cat’s meow. #PleaseStop #NYFW

I love that you speak in hashtags—then again, you are a social media guru with your own Emoji. What are your other pet peeves?

Is there anything worse than when your tuna roll gets delivered without the crunch? #FirstFelineProblems

Ugh, the worst. I hear you rouse Daddy Karl at 7:00 a.m. to feed you fresh croquettes. You must have one hell of a meow.

The only mewing noises I make sound like Miu Miu.

Naturally. For those of us who aren’t a “kept woman” and don’t have a staff to style our hair, what’s your best piece of grooming advice?

Remember to Ask Yourself: What would Daddy @KarlLagerfeld think?

Photo: Instagram

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