Bear with me, because I'd like to begin this review with a few words about flashing lights. If I recall correctly, several years ago there was a news report about a Japanese cartoon so frenetic it induced seizures. Today, waiting for the Nicole Miller show to start, I found myself in deep sympathy with those seizure victims: I'm not sure who was sitting across the runway from me in Miller's front row, because I was half-blind by the time the scrum of paparazzi cleared. But whoever it was, they inspired sickening amounts of wattage. Anyway, I mention this because, for most of Miller's show, I had a profound headache and could barely force my eyes to look at the clothes. Whatever the point of fashion week may be, I could have sworn that looking at clothes was central to it. Then again, who knows. At any rate, feel free to take this review of the Nicole Miller Fall '13 collection with a grain of salt.

The theme this time out was menswear, and more specifically, girls wearing their boyfriends' clothes. These imaginary boyfriends apparently sing lead in glam rock bands and have closets filled with orchestra jackets, fur vests, silk tattoo-print blouses, sheer button-downs trimmed in floral burnout velvet, and wallpaper-patterned coats. I'd like to meet that guy; I think his name is Russell Brand. And like Brand, this collection was a bit silly. There were some good-looking pieces though—the wallpaper-patterned trenchcoat was one, in fact, and Miller made fine use of the same print in a soft silk gown with trenchcoat lapels. A leather-trimmed tuxedo jacket and motorcyle jacket with a front panel of ponyskin were both sharply done, and a V-neck black cocktail dress of layered georgette was a flat-out winner. Meanwhile, Miller let her best idea this season die on the vine—there was a terrific lean suit of patchwork denim and black jacquard, and that theme should have been more fully elaborated. As it was, however, this collection came off as something of a jumble, as though that girl raiding her boyfriend's closet were doing it with her eyes closed. Maybe because she'd just been attacked by flashbulbs.