The weekend circuit in the world of hedge funders and hedgerows kicked off on Friday night with an intimate dinner, hosted by Dior Beauty, at see-and-be-seen East Hampton eatery Nello. After the crowd, which included Fabiola Beracasa, Minnie Mortimer Gaghan, Stephen Gaghan, and Kelly Killoren Bensimon, was momentarily riled by a boozy party crasher, it was quickly back to business as usual. "Who is that pretty blonde girl that everyone's taking pictures of?" a bartender asked Stephen Gaghan. It was none other than Dior Beauty ambassador Tinsley Mortimer, exercising luxury diplomacy in an off-the-shoulder green Christian Dior dress. The French house, meanwhile, did its bit for Franco-American relations, sending each guest away with a swag-filled cosmetics bag as well as a pair of enormous sunglasses. Euan Rellie swiped a second pair for wife Lucy. "She stayed home to watch Mad Men," explained the dapper Englishman.

The following morning, the sun was out in full force, as was an army of bargain hunters ready to attack the so-called "mother of all garage sales," Super Saturday. "I'm going to shop till I drop…of heat exhaustion," joked Molly Sims. The outdoor fundraiser, which benefits the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund, was bigger than ever this year. Represented among the 200-plus booths were Donna Karan, Betsey Johnson, and FAO Schwarz, whose offerings included a giant stuffed-toy version of Cerberus, the three-headed dog that guards the gates of Hades. (Sounds to us like one expensive "bargain," once you factor in the cost of Junior's therapy.)

Such a creature would have fit right in that evening at the Watermill Center benefit, where the absurd was both welcome and plentiful. Inside the museum, artist Jonathan Meese scrawled missives about the "dictatorship of art" on the wall and pumped iron for an audience of creative types like Michael Govan and Marina Abramovic. Outside, a garage band jammed as members of experimental theater group Shakespeare's Wild Sisters roamed about in their underwear with cardboard boxes on their heads. And that was just cocktail hour. "I've been through the Mill, so to speak, before," cracked Rufus Wainright, who met his boyfriend, Jörn Weisbrodt, at the event three years ago. "So I'm used to the craziness." After dinner, Simon de Pury took the mike to auction off a live horse, Golden Classix, who, amid hushed gasps, was trotted onto the stage by a bare-chested Fabio look-alike. (The winning bid of $30,000 came from publicist Vanessa von Bismarck.) "I love this party," beamed designer Elise Øverland as all and sundry took to the dance floor. "It's very un-Hamptons."

— Evelyn Crowley