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This week, I’ve been flexin’ in Texas for South by Southwest, a festival where my first film, Breaking Upwards, premiered back in 2009, and therefore holds a special place in my otherwise hard and blackened heart. This year, I came to promote my new TV show, Friends With Better Lives, with my costar and sister wife, Brooklyn Decker. Custom wine bottles were made for the #FWBL event, including “Divorcée Chardonnay,” “Love at First Blush,” and “Til Death Do Us Port.” In the words of Johnny Depp’s tattoo artist: “Wino Forever.”

The next eve was a delish Mexican dinner hosted by Marie Claire, in honor of one of the baddest bitches in the game, Mindy Kaling. I’m a huge fan, so to share my beans with her was an exercise in gaseous restraint. Que viva digestive enzymes!

While we’re on the topic, Austin is a culinary cove. The sushi at Uchiko is unreal, Thai at Sway blows the roof off the mother, brunch at Josephine House is sweet as a sugar substitute, and lunch at Snack Bar is nothing short of orgasmic organic.

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Monday night my hubby’s short for AT&T and Vice, Let’s Get Digital, premiered, with performances afterward by Reggie Watts and DJ Shadow. Me, Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite, NBD), Ryan Hansen (Veronica Mars, anyone?), and Megan Ferguson (you may have seen her as a prostitute who stole the virginity of a young Don Draper—you’re welcome, America) star in it. Check it out!

Most important, Bieber fever was in full effect in downtown Austin, where he romped around with Selena Gomez to the soundtrack of screaming youth. Belieber or not, it was a perfect way to say good-bye.

Photos: Courtesy of Zoe Lister-Jones

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Zoe Lister-Jones

Actor/Writer
Zoe Lister-Jones is an actor, writer, and producer next set to star in Friends With Better Lives, premiering March 31, 2014, on CBS. She costarred on two seasons of NBC's ...