Today's sales of Grand Theft Auto IV are expected to make the profits at a Barney's Warehouse Sale look like a pittance, but while we've heard of catfights breaking out over a Marc Jacobs bag, we've never heard of a sample-sale knife fight—yet. So watch your back in line and at sea, where pirates (and not the Johnny Depp/Orlando Bloom kind) are earning up to $40,000 a year in high-tech heists. "Mermaids" star Cher not only has pirate-worthy hair, but the soon-to-be Vegas showgirl also has a thing for Tom Cruise. OK, had a thing, but just take a minute and think that one through. Wish you'd been sitting down (we know, we can't fathom a life without Suri either)? With this contraption, you could be. Maybe Alber Elbaz will spice up his Lanvin line of Acne jeans, currently in the works, with something just like it.